Image cottonbro studio from Pexels
When I was 15 I was severely undisciplined. But after taking time to myself alone, everything got better.
Do you remember when you were a kid?
Maybe you had perfect grades, or you struggled with basic math. I was somewhere in the middle (though I was bad at math).
Public school was a great opportunity to develop social skills, but other than that I couldn’t focus.
I thought that maybe I was jinxed. Unable to learn in a classroom, everyone else seems to get this so why can’t I?
It wasn’t until I left public school to start high school at home that I realized that I was capable of so much more.
Switching gears
After spending my middle school years playing minecraft online with friends every day after school- something that is the closest to a 9–5 I’ll ever get. Once I entered my home 24/7 for school, I still had a bad habit at playing Minecraft.
I had left my gaming friends behind, but having a laptop where I installed Windows 10 Minecraft (I only played on the Wii U before), this habit quickly meddled with my ability to focus at school.
Anyway, why do I gotta learn PEMDAS when I could fight a Raider attack in Minecraft? Ok maybe I already knew PEMDAS by, like, 8th grade, but learning just didn’t excite my braincells like Minecraft did.
Over the next few months of hiding my continued Minecraft addiction, I was slowly becoming more aware of my surroundings.
When the leaves bloomed on the trees outside, I started noticing them more & feeling happy to see them. Or when I went outside to do belated chores, it felt more natural.
I don’t know whether the years of avoiding these chores led to some unknown appreciation, I was simply growing up, or both.
But being at home without the distraction of school gave me a new appreciation.
A step at a time
Ever so slowly I edged out of my Minecraft addiction.
Over time I began to like what I was learning in school… ok I didn’t until college actually, but at least I was developing better time management in this one thought,
“I’m gonna be stuck here forever if I don’t finish!”
So that’s what I finally gave my high school classes my full attention, in turn depleting my gaming addiction & graduating in 2.5 years!
It isn’t that easy
There were a lot of gaps in what I remember of when times were good, somewhat able to manage, or downright tough.
I will always remember though when those first gears starting turning in my mind, and what it took to get them to turn in the first place —
Finding the right environment for me
==I loved being alone, studying alone, listening to my thoughts.==
By learning on my own, I developed a new kind of self-discipline & awareness that I would’ve never found in public school.
Sure, I had friends whom I would chat online with. But it was my own efforts to become a better person that has led me to be who I am today!