🌱 Realistically… you could’ve known

Image by Vika Glitter from Pexels

Feeling regret? Great, we’re in the same boat

Have you ever gotten back from a trip with friends, or even with people you hardly know, and wonder:

Why didn’t I do… (insert thing).

I do, at least.

I remember when I was 12 years old coming back from a trip in the mountains & reflecting on the things I said & done during it.

It wasn’t that the trip wasn’t fun, it was. But it was the guilt of saying things I didn’t say when I felt I was being taken advantage of by a relative that got my blood boiling.

I kept thinking, “Why didn’t I have the back bone to tell her to mind her business? Why did I give in?”

I’m not gonna spill the dets here, but I was feeling as if I had lost control of my decisions — and as I knew my introverted self well, I didn’t know how I could get it back if it happened next time.

Fast forward to now — thinking back after all these years, I still feel regret. Yet… I realize how I’ve grown since that time, and also how reflecting on my actions when I was younger has helped me now.

Here are 5 steps I’ve taken for better decisions to avoid regret.

Accepting my faults

This is the 1st step, otherwise how else would I have learned?

By not understanding what I did wrong in the first place, not standing up for myself — I wouldn’t have tried learning how to be more confident.

That brings us to the next step.

Giving myself time

I can beat myself all I want thinking, “I’ll retrace every step & keep doing so until I get it right,” but honestly that was just me being stubborn.

Giving myself time helped me to mentally process, let go, and move forward.

Taking mental note of how to do better

This one was tricky for me to learn, because if I made the mistake of failing to stand up for myself, I’d feel horrible & start retracing my steps.

Instead, I needed to make note of:

1. What I did wrong.
2. How to do better.
3. Keep practicing.

Even today, I have to remind myself when I’m in a similar situation,

“You got this OJ, standing up for yourself now will only make it easier in the future.”

Author’s Note: This quick story was written on my iPhone, so I hope the formatting was ok 😅

I had this revelation & needed to give it a place that would solidify what I’ve learned over the years… writing it down has really helped.

By understanding also when I need to stand up for myself & practicing to do it, even if I fail one time, it doesn’t mean my progress wasn’t worth it (last assurance to myself 🤣).

Thanks for reading!